Purely Gratuitous

“bitches” & “boobs”

We have had publishing events like 50 Shades. We have had raunchy routines from comediennes like Sarah Silverman. We have had rap artists cutting up their bitches. We have had reality television set ups that would clog the filters of a sewage treatment plant for a major urban area. We have gone from the time when Rhett Butler saying “frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn” was a national event, to the point now where it is a national event if the hostess of any given awards show doesn’t fall out of her dress. Our ruling elites, pretty much all of them, are gathered on Lot’s front porch, trying to find the doorknob while yelling incoherently about their incoherent lusts. Not only do they want to rape the angels, they are mortally offended that some sports guys said boobs on CNN.
Douglas Wilson

“Small-Breasted Biddies: A Reprise”

Small-Breasted Biddies: A Reprise
Let us be frank. Nothing will be achieved through pretense. Although I do not belong to the same school of thought as does Travis, I have offended the feminists (along with not a few Christians cowed by the feminists) in a related area, on multiple occasions.

‘So feminism — smash the patriarchy feminism — wants us to be ruled by harridans, termagants, harpies and crones. That sets the tone, and the pestering is then made complete by small-breasted biddies who want to make sure nobody is using too much hot water in the shower, and that we are all getting plenty of fiber. And if anyone reads these words and believes that I am attacking all women by them, that would provide great example of why we should not entrust our cultural future to people who can’t read’ (Here).

‘We like the word authentic, but we detest the reality. A fading beauty in Beverly Hills walks into an upscale bistro, her skin stretched out with botox, her breasts as fine a pair as DuPont could make them, her hair the color of nothing found on earth, and yet she double checks with the waiter (twice) to be sure that her salad will have hormone-free chicken. Why? Either because she is committed to going all natural, which would not seem to be the case, or because her table is only big enough for one hormone queen. She is insisting that the chicken be the authentic one’ (Here).

‘And briefly, the last distinction we must have is the distinction between the wise and intelligent women who understood exactly what Wilkin was getting at, who have dealt with real instances of such a haunting, and who actually have had a bloviating pastor modulate into his ‘pastor voice’ when answering a simple question, and the clueless women who blindly liked Wilkin’s article on Facebook, but who are themselves pushy broads, twinkies in tight tops, or waifs with manga eyes’ (Here).

What am I doing here? Or, as some might want to put it, what do I think I am doing?
Douglas Wilson

“everybody must be able to get laid whenever and however they want”

But why do we want to account for complex postmodern realities? That is called missing the point, for there are no longer any points to miss. Right? Actually, underneath all the pomo jargonizing, there are a couple of non-negotiable points that they insist on us not missing, while pretending they are insisting on nothing whatever. One is that everybody must be able to get laid whenever and however they want, and the other is that they must be allowed to rail against power games while playing the ultimate power game themselves. The first item is the bait, and the second is the trap. The people doing this are really evil or really stupid.
Douglas Wilson

“Somebody apparently wants to get laid”

Sinners want their words to be respected, while at the same time reserving their right to disrespect the words of others because, as we all know, ‘that’s different.’ They want their words respected, but if they deeply respect the words of others — particularly the words of those in authority over them — they cannot give free rein to their lusts in the way they would like. Depend upon it. When men start to interpret this way, it is because they want the authoritative word that comes to them to be a lot more flexible than before, and by this it turns out (surprise) that the seventh commandment is chiefly in view. Somebody apparently wants to get laid in ways contrary to the divine stone memo handed down at Sinai. And at the same time, expect that man’s own pronouncements about what other people are doing to become increasingly inflexible.
Douglas Wilson

“following her will greatly increase their chances of getting laid”

How Bad Theology is Incentivized

Wednesday, July 28, 2010 By Douglas Wilson

‘When men follow a teacher like Jezebel of Thyatira, they are doing so not because her doctrinal reasons are so compelling and her academic credentials so impressive, but rather because following her will greatly increase their chances of getting laid (Rev. 2:20). If a prophet comes prophesying wine and beer (Mich. 2:11), he is sure to get a following. And if it is a prophetess, declaring that love is grace and grace is sexy, then even better’ (Why Ministers Must Be Men, p. 23).
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“as stacked as some blonde in a tight dress”

This principle is why people do things that they are willing to brazen out. People brazen it out because brazening it out works. And this is why I intend to bring up the stacked nature of the PCA committee every chance I get, for as long as I can remember to do so. Not only will I do this, but I intend to memorialize it with as many metaphors as I can manage to come up with. That committee was as stacked as a double order of buttermilks, as stacked as some blonde in a tight dress, and as stacked as a brick house. The PCA, she’s mighty, mighty.
Douglas Wilson

“Like Some Blonde in a Tight Dress”

Large assemblies in part must rely on their committees to do the spade work, and I am not faulting the GA for that. You can’t have high level of theological discourse within the limits that a big assembly necessarily has. That is why it is so important to get the fairness thing right before the GA — in the committee. So I am faulting those who stacked that committee like it some blonde in a tight dress, and who then try to brazen it out after the fact. “What’s this? What do you mean? Perfectly modest attire.”
Douglas Wilson

“It’s not right . . . to give perfectly good white folk food to niggers”

Jesus was not above using ethnic humor to make His point either. . . . My understanding of this encounter is that Jesus was pulling his disciples’ chain. This woman was not a Jew, and the Jews had problems dealing with such people, considering them beneath contempt — in a word, dogs. Put in terms that we might be more familiar with, Jesus was white, and the disciples were white, and this black woman comes up seeking healing, for her daughter. She gets ignored. The disciples ask Jesus to send her off. She comes up and beseeches Christ for healing. It’s not right, He says, to give perfectly good white folk food to “niggers.” Disciples mentally cheer. But she sees the look in His eye, and the inverted commas around the epithet, and answers in kind. He relents, which was His intent all along, and heals the woman’s daughter. If this understanding is right, then Jesus was using a racial insult to make a point. If it is not correct, then He was simply using a racial insult. In either case, His language is more than a little rough.
Douglas Wilson

“I do admit that there are times when I crack myself up”

This brings us to those instances where I deliberately set up the accusers, making a point of doing what I know they are demanding we all stop doing. For example, in the comments of Thabiti’s last post, one person pointed out that I use the word sodomite from time to time. “I can imagine a glee, sitting at desk, typing, and thinking, ‘Watch this! Watch how the ‘libs’ blow up over this one. . .’” Now I do admit that there are times when I crack myself up — as for example if I were to write about Anglican sodomites processing up the central aisle in their sodomitres. At the same time, I take no glee in being a ‘bad boy.’ I am in deadly earnest.
Douglas Wilson

“trying to make it through the homily of the most theologically-minded dyke in the diocese”

Like termites need wood, so also unbelief needs the structures of faith that a living faith once built. They can’t get at the wood when it is still alive and growing, but once the living truth has gone through the sawmill of accreditation and become a standardized two by four of truth — watch out. A brief review will make the point — just imagine Fuller sitting in on a few classes at Fuller Seminary, Carl Henry dropping in at CT after reading the three most recent issues, or Thomas Cranmer trying to make it through the homily of the most theologically-minded dyke in the diocese. The word ‘scene’ comes to mind.
Douglas Wilson

“the new bishop is a lesbian dyke from Ecuador”

Once you understand that this is their foundational tactic, you will also understand how homosexual marriage has been mainstreamed, how creationists get themselves exiled to Dogpatch Bible College, how women wound up deployed in the Sixth Fleet, why the nation is deep in trillodebt, and how it is that the new bishop is a lesbian dyke from Ecuador. The only arena where the leftists have not executed this strategy effectively has been with the pro-life issue. They have had legal successes in that area, obviously, but they have not been able to pull off the cultural ‘you are hurting my feelings’ schtick. But virtually everywhere else they do it, it works like a charm. Tender-hearted Christians fall for it repeatedly, like a trout rising on cue whenever the devil goes fly fishing.
Douglas Wilson