Breasts

“as stacked as some blonde in a tight dress”

This principle is why people do things that they are willing to brazen out. People brazen it out because brazening it out works. And this is why I intend to bring up the stacked nature of the PCA committee every chance I get, for as long as I can remember to do so. Not only will I do this, but I intend to memorialize it with as many metaphors as I can manage to come up with. That committee was as stacked as a double order of buttermilks, as stacked as some blonde in a tight dress, and as stacked as a brick house. The PCA, she’s mighty, mighty.
Douglas Wilson

“Like Some Blonde in a Tight Dress”

Large assemblies in part must rely on their committees to do the spade work, and I am not faulting the GA for that. You can’t have high level of theological discourse within the limits that a big assembly necessarily has. That is why it is so important to get the fairness thing right before the GA — in the committee. So I am faulting those who stacked that committee like it some blonde in a tight dress, and who then try to brazen it out after the fact. “What’s this? What do you mean? Perfectly modest attire.”
Douglas Wilson

“A Whole Lot Creepier Than I Remember It”

Last point, and this is fundamental. Is Louisiana on trial for “failure to indict” or “failure to convict”? If the former, then if the SJC finds her guilty, then the requirement should then be to ensure that formal charges are brought against Steve at presbytery, a trial held, and then, as necessary, appealed. Or, as an alternative, the SJC could assume original jurisdiction, and hold a trial for Steve, starting from scratch, with Steve being given the presumption of innocence in that trial. The problem with this second option is seen in the manifest injustice of how the national leaders of the PCA stacked the study committee — as stacked as Dolly Parton after her new implants. If the SJC is stacked similarly, then Steve will just escorted through the motions of a trial, and in the aftermath, there would be no appeal.
Douglas Wilson

“clueless women . . . pushy broads, twinkies in tight tops, or waifs with manga eyes”

And briefly, the last distinction we must have is the distinction between the wise and intelligent women who understood exactly what Wilkin was getting at, who have dealt with real instances of such a haunting, and who actually have had a bloviating pastor modulate into his ‘pastor voice’ when answering a simple question, and the clueless women who blindly liked Wilkin’s article on Facebook, but who are themselves pushy broads, twinkies in tight tops, or waifs with manga eyes. If there is a real problem out there, an article like this one needs to put up barriers in order to keep the wrong people from getting the wrong idea.
Douglas Wilson

“they take the girls out for a walk in order to be noticed”

No matter where you go, people are always just people. The same move is perfected by those unfortunate sisters who want everybody to notice their breasts without anybody seeing them. So they take the girls out for a walk in order to be noticed, but if anybody acts like they saw, such a person is immediately dismissed as Mrs. Grundy’s legalistic aunt, and the responses can be pretty funny.
Douglas Wilson

“pert French breasts”

The physical activity of writing was nothing to him. When it came to pensive reflections of man and his existential condition (as mirrored in the experiences of Robert P.), foreign film reviews that were allowed to make as little sense as the films themselves, extended discussions of how the pert French breasts in those films could not really be deconstructed, Derrida or no Derrida, and long, protracted discussions of how people — particularly food service personnel — misunderstood him, Robert was a machine. If it was narcissism and self-indulgence you were after, he could write like a bat out of the bad place.
Douglas Wilson, Evangellyfish

“fake boobs”

Christ makes all things new. If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. And when God gives us a new heart, it is far more real than the old broken one. In regeneration, God is turning us into people. God takes away the heart of stone, and in evangelical conversion He gives a heart of flesh. So what does God give? He gives a living, beating human heart. He gives a genuine heart. All our surgeons can do is give fake boobs.
Douglas Wilson

“insecurity on heels with boobs”

This takes us back to Christian maturity, and that maturity will answer the question for each couple. This is not saying that ‘whatever works for you’ is fine. No, it is possible to do this all wrong. An insecure girl can get a breast job, and when all is said and done, you have insecurity on heels with boobs — a bad combination, incidentally. Another woman who receives reconstructive surgery after breast cancer can thank God for His gracious gift. Was that so hard?
Douglas Wilson

“Gritty Realism”

Gritty Realism

‘To the extent that women have begun to appear in this shooter world, they do so as caricatures — with cartoonishly erotic bodies. The characteristic pose of Laura Croft from Eidos’s Tomb Raider is a straight-on view of her scowling face, skinny waist, pneumatic breasts, and two huge guns that she’s aiming directly at you. Like other female shooter games, such as Perfect Dark (Nintendo, 1999) and ONI (Bungie, 1999), the Tomb Raider series wants us to see the incredible buns and boobs, connected by a fragile Barbie waist, in motion’ (Lawrence and Jewett, The Myth of the American Superhero, p. 217).
Douglas Wilson

“DuPont’s Finest”

We like the word authentic, but we detest the reality. A fading beauty in Beverly Hills walks into an upscale bistro, her skin stretched out with botox, her breasts as fine a pair as DuPont could make them, her hair the color of nothing found on earth, and yet she double checks with the waiter (twice) to be sure that her salad will have hormone-free chicken. Why? Either because she is committed to going all natural, which would not seem to be the case, or because her table is only big enough for one hormone queen. She is insisting that the chicken be the authentic one.
Douglas Wilson